I wish God would just talk to me. I wish He would tell me what to do, in all His infinite wisdom. Sadly, my faith often wavers. Are You really there God? Are you a figment of the imagination of a humanity that cannot cope with the notion of a meaningless life?
It has only been a week since I knew for sure that an accredited advanced training position would be out of reach for the coming year. In the lead up to the Match I was uncertain as to which hospital I wanted to preference. I told God to close the doors that He did not want me to walk through. But if He is truly in control, then really, He's closed them all! It has only been about a week, and I have at times reconciled myself to simply waiting on Him, and for answers in His timing.
But 2nd round offers (non-cardiac) should be opening up pretty soon. Should I apply? Should I leave NSW? Should I go back to Tasmania? Should I go to Sudan? That would be pretty cool. It's an Islamic country. Would I be safe? I have so many questions, but very few answers. I could I suppose cast my net widely - apply for it all. If God does not want me to walk through certain doors, He can close them again.
Father do not forsake me. I am here. Speak.
Philippians 4:6 ESV
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
John 15:7 ESVIf you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.
Mark 11:24 ESVTherefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
Romans 8:26 ESVLikewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.
Luke 11:9 ESVAnd I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.
Jeremiah 33:3 ESVCall to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known.
Matthew 26:41 ESV
Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”